It's good that the Lord is helping you see that your behavior is off. Do you have a doctor you can turn to? I'm sure you can get help with medications and counseling, but you have to reach out. If money is a concern, most areas have a county or state mental health agency that can help.

Sometimes I also feel that I shouldn't ask the Lord for specific help. But I learned that it's OK to ask--but I also tell Him that He knows what is best for me and I trust Him to help me find the way. He has always helped me, even though it didn't seem that way immediately. Trust Him. He really does know what's best for us and what would make us the happiest.