I am a little ashamed of myself today. Last four months I started back cigarettes and I haven't told anyone, not even my family or co-workers. I am in the process of quitting once again. I realized where I failed is the simple fact that I tied my quit 1yr and a half ago to a future goal. I completed a 5k, sprint triathlon and a 10k. All the stars lined up wrong and it just took 1 to hook me back. I answered my own question of why do people start back after quitting for sooo long. I am disappointed in myself but I realized that this is a life journey and I have to look back on my life and remember all the accomplishments whenever at some very later point in life (on my death bed) and be proud of what I have done instead of regret what I could have done. I suppose I approached quitting very hardcore and pushed myself to the max to see how far I can take it. Now that I see I am (have) a better person, more confident, more active, I have something to reach out and grab and this time hold on too. I am almost back to zero and will keep it there. I ask for a little time to mention me in your prayers as I will do the same for you. We are all better than our choices. It is up to I am to make it right. Thanks Josh