I'm taking a big exam that'll dictate the rest of my life. I have failed this exam before and I felt so burnt out after. The worst case scenario is that my mom was just as sad as me. She's a single mom and has invested her money in me (which is a lot since she works a minimum wage job since we've arrived to the us). As I write this I've never felt heavier in my heart. I talk to God abt this and Ik he has my back but i have to do well on my end as well. I'm the oldest immigrant daughter & 1st gen college student. On top of studies I have responsibilities and it doesn't help that I've had to figure out every single step of the way on my own (literally). I have no one to really complain to I've always been a bit of a loner and lately my anxiety has been so high it keeps me up at night no matter how exhausted I am. I'm afraid of disappointing myself and my family. Gods allowing me to stay afloat and I don't want my faith to falter because that's not what this is..I've made it this far on my own, it's just the fact that it's been hard to retain and recall info that I'm afraid I'm not even learning at this stage. Pray for me.
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