Heavenly Father Please know how Sorry I am for being the way I am, sad, scared lonely, mean, hopeless, lost! I am so sorry, I don't know how to change, I want to more than anything! I am a disappointment to you, my son and myself! Help me to be happy...so My Son will have a better life! He is a good boy who deserves a mom that can be present, have fun, play, be active, not miserable because of physical pain on top of emotional pain...I beg of you to heal me! Pleas take my pain away, so I may find out what life can feel like...what it's like to be happy most days?...I dread each day, I cannot stand who I've become! All I know is I feel like I never had a chance...Dear Lord I'm so scared I am damaging my child so I am Begging Heavenly father forgive me Please I am beyond desperate...Please help me learn to forgive myself for not being strong enough to endure the pain I have to make it through everyday...I love my Son...I have faith though I have no hope...I am so afraid I will never be able to hug my baby, just hold my little boy and not be consumed by pain! My head, 85% of my body aches...it always hurts and I can't take it....I hate the person I am I need a miracle! I need your help Jesus, bless me Please! Lord hear me, Heavenly Father so I may show you my gratitude first by being not only a mother who is caring and loving, happy for the first time in my life, finally be able to help others in need, help myself to become someone worthy of your Love, Forgiveness, Grace...As I would love to Serve both you and my son for as long as I have without so much pain, anxiety...I am ashamed to to beg, to ask for any help... Please Forgive my sins, my shame, my fear and bless me with forgiveness and a miracle that will ease both my physical and emotional pain...in the name of Jesus Christ Amen
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