Terri, although you may feel lost and see no help in sight, please, stay the course in trusting God to help and guide you. Losing a mother is one of the hardest losses we can endure. I lost my mother, who meant the world to me, in 1989. I, too, didn't think I would survive the grief that consumed me every day, but I kept asking God to comfort and guide me, so that I could have some semblance of peace and acceptance. It took some time but as soon as I realized that it was selfish of me to expect my mother to continue suffering, simply because Ididn't want to lose her, I began to accept my loss. Losing a mother is hard, but if you will trust that, although she isn't physically with you anymore, her spirit will ALWAYS be with you. I know that to be true! And, once you can allow yourself to accept her transition, you'll be pleasantly surprised at the many signs she will give you to let you know she's still with you.
As far as your depression goes, don't be afraid to seek assistance from a mental health specialist, who can help you address what is keeping you from living your best life.
Take care of yourself, and be well.
🙏🌹❤️
Joan