Almighty father it been 7 long months since Vanessa left not a day has gone by where my heart is broken. I love her and Andrew and Sheila with all I am . I know I am suppose be happy I am alive but I just exist. Since vanessa left . I feel as I lose more of life each day . As if I am waiting to die . Because I already am dead inside. I lost my life and world when vanessa and kids left . My friends tell me your bring me better but so far I have hated every woman that you brought to talk to me this far even insult them . I am lost without my family and my wife vanessa. I feel as if you don't want me happy any more . I sure have trouble believing that your helpping me or hurting me . I feel dead inside and only waiting on my death . I am lost with out vanessa . I need Jesus help , your help to father to return my life and Vanessa and Andrew and Sheila back into my life .