I am suffering from the disease of addiction. Ever since I was 18 years old this disease has caused me to lose myself along with everyone else I have ever lived in my life. Now at age,37 I have had 6 kids which I have custody of none of them. I live with shame regret and sorrow for the life I have lived the way I have hurt my children parents family and friends. I can't seem to forgive myself for the hurt and pain I have caused to myself and others. I am not accepting the fact that I will not raise my children and that I will not be able to be their mommy day to day. I also an filled with sadness for what I have done to them and the effect my bad choices have now permanently changed their lives. The life I live still controls me every moment of each day in negative ways. I need to forgive medals and find a purpose or better yet my purpose for being here in this earth. Please pray for me and my soul that I may find my purpose and that may find in myself the forgiveness I need to move forward with my life. That this disease will no longer control me my mind my body or my soul. That I will find freedom from active addiction and become the woman I was out on this earth to be. That some way somewhere I will see the light that shines for me. That u will heal and become whole and no longer be a hostage to this disease. Lord set me free from my negative beliefs and feelings I have about myself and that I will see the daughter of God that I am. Please pray for my children and that they to Erik heal from this addiction that has caused them great sorrow and loss. That I will be able one day be a positive influence and person in their lives. That they will not be permanent hanged because of my choices. Please I beg pay for them and their recovery that they will will happy full lives.