Nicholas, I just prayed for you. I've been there, I actually ended a relationship with a man I was still so much in love with (it was love a first site for both of us), and he kept calling & texting me for a quite a while. Unfortunately, there were problems w/his grown children. One, I absolutely adored, yet he and his friends were doing (what they thought) goofy and fun things (driving golf carts and ruining the new sprinkler systems and more. Police were at the door and it was an beautiful affluent neighborhood. I'm an artist, when their father and I went on vacation we returned to a living room squirted with ketchup and a painting 24x24 that was almost finished, well, it was slashed. I couldn't take it any longer. Their father tried, it was difficult. Nicholas, my heart was torn, I cried so often. It was over 20 years ago. I did meet someone else 15 years ago. I know you love, miss and are hurting not having your love with you and it's not easy. You're a Christian, that's wonderful! You look great but more importantly, you have heart. God closes doors for a reason. God will open other doors for you. Have Faith, Nicholas...please. Get together with your friends. Keep busy doing something you enjoy and exercise, eat well, get enough rest and continue to ask The Holy Spirit to guide you. Always give Thanks for your Blessings first. You'll be okay, you will. You'll never forget that person but will be able to not feel the pain as you do now. Trust in God, know that Jesus Christ feels your pain and shares in your tears. You'll find the 'right one' who will put a bounce in your step again. ((HUGS)) Diane.