Hey Delia I loss my wife with brain cancer almost 2 years ago coming this April 9 . I went through the toughest battle of my life with grieving and trying to cope with the loss. I was having a mental breakdown in my mind and I constantly tried to fix it . I wanted to fulfill my desire to have a wife again and thought that this would be the answer and take away the pain in my heart. I was temporarily replacing it with another woman to love again. After dating a few times I quickly realized my hope and my love needed to come from Jesus before I could ever love someone truly the way God intended for me . Saying all this I became desperate and felt like I was just going through all the motions and I never ever recovering to where I once was in a close relationship with the Father in Heaven. Recently I played a song by Natalie Grant (weapon ) and God renewed and redeemed me again and I felt finally that love that was always there for me . My mind became renewed with His Presence and my life took a 180 and it feels so good in my spirit to be what you are created for and what He made you to be in life. You Delia are a child of the most high and you are redeemed by the blood on that cross. You are chosen, You are MORE than a conqueror, You are the apple of His eyes. You and me are family and I truly love you and pray that there will be no more questions in your life anymore of who you are . You are a child of the most high !! Remember always pray for His presence and just soak up His love. Please listen to that song and worship like its your last time to do it and He will touch you. Amen