It will be 3 years Aug 12, and I still feel lost without him and cry so much. I wish the waves of grief would stop. There are some that say I should be over it by now and start getting out and finding someone. There will never be another like him. I can't find it in my heart to do that.
It is great that my daughter and son-in-law are only 6 miles away. That helps so much, but there is still a void that never goes away. I am happy in my new home but the grief always comes back.
Please pray for me that I can find peace with all of this. I can't fight the depression. I just want some peace.
Thank you

It has been almost 3 months and I still cry so very hard and long. I am finding it hard to get everything done. I sometimes feel so overwhelmed by all that is going on. It's hard to function sometimes.
On a different note, I have sold the property and will be closing soon. I feel relieved on one hand but sad that I will be leaving the home we had together. I know that is what he wanted. We tried for such a long time to sell this place, but now I know that the Lord is providing me with the means to be closer to my daughter.
Please pray that I can get the move and transition done. I don't know how it will be in a different home, but the Lord and Martin will be with me always.
Also, please pray for the fundraiser. I still have so much in bills and expenses. Thank you all for your prayers and support. God less

Please continue to pray for me. I am still not believing this. I sometimes feel OK, but then reality sets in and I cry. It is hard to focus on anything because I am still here in our house and everywhere I turn, I see him. Please pray that I have the strength to get back to some normalcy. I know it will take a long time and when I move, it may get a bit easier. Love you all for your support and prayers.

Again thank you for all your prayers. Please continue to pray for me. I am finding it hard living without Martin. I am needing to sell our property so that I can be closer to our daughter. It is hard to be so far away from my family and deal with this loss. I cry almost everyday,. but when I look at how beautiful the sunsets are, I know God and Martin are smiling down on me. It is still hard to believe that he is gone. I have a long road ahead of me.....but I know that the Lord will give me the strength I need.
Thank you again for your prayers. God bless.

Martin is now with the Lord. He went peacefully and although I am without him for the first time in 13 years, I am at peace with the knowledge that he is in Heaven glorifying the Lord and free from all the suffering a the pain. Please
ray for me to be able to cope with this. His funeral is on Saturday and I need all your prayers and strength to get though this. He was a good Christian man and that gives me peace.
Thank you for all your prayers, kindness and support. I know that if I stay strong in my faith I will be with him again. Love you all.

Martin is now in the last stages of life. He says he is tired of this and fighting. As much as I want to have him with me, it will be better for him to be with the Lord. He will have a glorious body and will be praising God in all His glory. I am just hoping that I can cope with all of this. Please pray for me.
Facing life alone without him will be hard, but God, family and friends are at my side.
Please also continue to pray for our fundraiser. It needs help and I know the Lord will provide for us.
thank you and God bless

I have a praise prayer. I have a car., I get it today. It's nothing to look at, but it's a car and I am happy. Now, if Martin is feeling stronger on Friday, I can take him for a ride, just to get him out of the house. This will mean so much to us and especially for him. He hasn't be out of the house since December. Going to the hospital and doctors doesn't count. he is getting weaker and not eating as much. The hospice nurse says this is to be expected. The doctors, hmmm, said that the cancer was very slow in spreading. It has only been since February. Don't trust doctors anymore, sorry. We have things in order as I said before, but I just can't seem to think about things right now. Please pray for him to be peaceful and I know he will be with Jesus soon. He is a good Christian man. I just need prayers to be able to cope with this.
The fundraiser has hit a snag, so I'm praying that it starts up again. Needing lots and lots of help with raising this money. The site is GiveForward.com/cancer fund for Martin.
Thank you for all your prayers. God bless you all.

Well, this is it...Martin is back on hospice and we have now gotten things in order. I am devastated by all of this. We still do not have a car. The wonderful people at our church have been trying to get the funds together but it seems that Satan is always in the way. All I want is for us to have a car so that before Martin gets dangerously worse, I can take him out for a ride and let him see God's work before he passes. We are still struggling with lots of things, but right now priority is with Martin. I still have the fundraiser going because if I don't get any help from that, I am going to have to file bankruptcy because I don't have that kind of money to take care of medical bills. This has devastated us beyond all imagination. I'm trying to sell some of the stuff in the house so that when the time comes, I won't have to pack a lot of stuff. Please pray that the Lord will provide us a car and help with our medical bills. If you would like to pass on the information about our fundraiser, just go to GiveForward.com/cancer-fund-for-Martin. No need for donations, just passing the information will help us get something.
I thank you for all the prayers and love that all of oyu have shown us. Please keep praying for him. God bless you all

Martin went into the hospital last week, and they gave him more transfusions. 7 to be exact. He is home now and resting. Please pray for us. He needs to go back and forth to the hospital's clinic regularly to get transfusions when his blood levels get. We still do not have a way to get there. I was trying to raise 800.00 to get a car, but it's not easy to do. If we don't get a car, then we will have to take the ambulance every time he needs to go to the clinic. Please pray for us.Thank you

Going to continue to ask for prayers for Martin. He has to go back in to the hospital again for more blood. The hospice did some blood work last week and said that his levels were down to 6.1 again. The other blood test indicates that he may need another CT scan because it looks like the cancer may have spread to either his liver or bone or both. We are hoping that this is just the gall bladder problem. I feel like we are loosing this battle but I'm not going to give up on him.
We had a very bad weekend as well. We lost 2 of our doggie babies. Ms Kimi had been sick and was just wasting away. Then I was giving my other puggie, Tori a bath and she collapsed in my arms. We think she might have had heart problems. She was fine last week but started to sleep a lot and was having trouble breathing Saturday night. Between the cancer news and loosing our 2 babies, this has devastated us. We are now having to try to pay the hospital bill from his last visit. (over 68,000.00). I'm am trying not to go off the deep end Still having trouble getting 800.00 to get the car that we so desperately need. Trapped and panicking now. Wish I could wake up and everything would be all right.
Please continue to pray for him and also please say an urgent prayer that the Lord will provide a car for us. Trying to cope with all of this is a nightmare. Thank you.