Dear Jmml: Your prayer request caught my eye. Please know I have been going through the same thing as you. I have good days and bad days, but I haven't given up and I pray you don't either! Please call or text the Suicide Hotline. I did and received help. Then I reached out to friends to tell them I was feeling suicidal and they reached back. My pastoral associate had suicidal thoughts and I reached out to him, too. We have been talking once a week and he is thinking of beginning a mental health ministry. If he does, I will help in any way I can. Please don't give up; you'd be surprised who is on your side...reach out to them! I will continue to pray for you and please let us know you are all right! I care and so do others.