Prayer Request
Please pray God would help me open my heart and help me to recieve His unconditional love. Please pray God would show me who I really am in Christ. Please pray the Holy Spirit takes away all the unworthiness programmed into me since birth. It's become so bad, I can't even let in love and when I think its almost going to happen, I sabotage myself and run the other way because I don't want to get hurt. I do want to get better but the truth is, I don't feel worthy. I've never felt worthy. I struggle with the most basic things and since I can write, people assume I have common sense too. But, I don't and I make people so angry and I don't want to be like that. I try to be normal and do things that shouldn't need explaining but then I get it wrong and I get yelled at all over again about how worthless I am. I developed an addiction because I couldn't handle feeling worthless all the time and depressed with nothing to help it. So now I'm stuck in this addiction that I can't get out of on my own. I have tried and I'm barely functional. People would know. I would reach out but I don't want to be mocked, used, ignored, manipulated or threatened, and that's all I've really gotten in the past from asking for help. From as far back as I remember, all I've ever done was want to love and care about people and I have gotten the exact opposite. Mostly by family. My parents hate me because I'm not normal and therefore worthless. They never knew me. They never cared to know me. They made me feel I couldn't trust myself. I don't even know how to assert what I need because I barely know because it never mattered only to shut my needs away and ignore them and act like I have none otherwise I'm selfish. I try to escape my family only to attract more hostile people. I wish their words would physically kill me instantly, I really do. I told God I would stay here and try as hard as I could for as long as I could. I'm running out of hope. Please pray God would bring people into my life who love me unconditionally. People that if they knew the truth about me, they would still be my friend. I don't want to do this anymore. It's too hard and I'm tired of getting my hopes crushed and getting by heart broken and suffering at my lowest moments alone because no one can handle my darkness.
6 Comments
Your life is precious... if those others dont think so its because they just dont know what to do or how to handle it anymore. You do need to reach out for professional help, and it's okay, we ALL have struggles, and you need help with yours from people who are trained professionals. If you want to be clean then do everything you can to find help, because You are lovable, you're in a bad way though... having family/friends who dont help you.. well maybe they lost trust, even though you mean well, and they cant handle your problems,and that is sad, but they (and you) are only human. I know getting help for addiction is not easy, because I know some who have tried. Do not give up, grab ahold of your inner strength & keep praying to God, but you have to do your part, dont tell lies, dont be embarrassed...addiction is a huge problem these days & I know the urge to use feels horribly strong, BUT, you CAN harness the power within you to change your life & keep seeking help from the right people, professionals. You have to be honest with everyone in your life, so they can learn to trust you again. Be kind, be respectful & take responsibility for your addiction, your life & choices. YOU CAN FIGHT YOURADDICTION, especially with help. You need to LOVE YOURSELF and treat yourself well, and get yourself as much help as you can. You are good inside, you just have to make up your mind that you will do everything in your power to get well, (legally), to be honest & respectful in relationships, and to never ever give up! Trust God that there are reasons beyond your understanding for what you are going through, and take responsibility for yourself & your choices. You need to earn others trust & respect back, it tskes time, and you working on yourself. You ARE lovable, so please dont give up! Your life is more precious than you realize. I'll pray for good people to come into your life to help you, but you also must search & search to find ways. Life is always changing, and suicide is a permanent solution to temporary problems. God bless you with all the help you require to be well, and God bless you with the love & care that you deserve. Don't ever give up!
Thinking of you Flossy and praying for you. Stay strong and look forward to your future. God is there with you, every step you take . đź’•
I pray that God let's you feel his love that he has for you. May the Angels surround you and protect you from any harm to yourself. May you know that you are loved and would be so missed. There are others that need you Flossy I pray Jesus takes your hand and guides you, may you find love and peace, Amen
Flossy, you are worthy. You are worthy of love. You are worthy of God’s love. Please keep your promise to God and keep trying. Seek out help and help will come. Your parents probably have their own problems which makes it impossible for them to help you with yours. You’re NOT worthless. You’re unique and special. You are an excellent writer— you have a real talent. Praying for you and sending you a mother’s love and God’s love. Never give up precious girl.