the hardest part of faith is not getting the answer I want when I want it or afraid I won't get the answer I want at all. I am tempted to think its a a trick to get me to do what God wants from me as if he hasn't shown me his love already. The source of all my problems now is failure to trust and surrender I think. Its scary. I am afraid. I dont know how to let go. I am tired of being afraid and being tossed to fro like the waves of the sea. Back and forth. One way or the other. I dont know my future thats scary. It ruins my today, that fear. I know everything I do my way turns to ruin. Gods way is better in the long run so why is it so hard to trust?