I am divorcing is not easy but I hear you and it was me the one who prayed that same prayer every night. I suggest you start by looking for counseling, to help you and guide you through the process of finding your strength to walk out. I was marry for 18 years and it's hard to accept that I have to divorce. But 20 years of trying is enough it's time to let go and start again. I feel anxious but I know it's what I have to do. Stop the cicle. You are worth loving and caring. You deserve to be happy and have peace. God didn't made you to hold on to emotional abuse. The same God that opened the door for me to walk out is the same one who's by your side.