I didn´t mean to wonder away from God..... It just happened and I don´t know what to do..... I feel I can´t go back or perhaps it´s too late to un-do the changes I caused on myself..... I don´t know who to turn to nor who to ask for help since I feel nobody can help somebody like me.....

I am completely dead..... in my mind..... in my heart that has turned to stone..... and feels like my soul left me since I been living a life away from the path of light and life..... instead I been falling and tripping on the path of darkness..... it feels like I been on that path for so long that I don't think anybody cares or remembers that I exist..... I'm nervous and afraid to talk and go back to God and Jesus Christ since I been committing so many sins and mistakes that I can't even look at myself in the mirror without seeing my past..... my nightmares..... the life I been slowly destroying and starving for the grace and light of Heaven and the angels and God and Jesus Christ and those who are close to them..... I just want another start or at least a sign that everything is gonna be ok because right now I have no idea where I stand as I look forward and back in my life.....