I need prayer for myself, Other than my Heavenly FATHER, I'm all that I got. I say to myself sometime that he is all that I need, I talk to him all the time to ask him why is my life so sad, depressing, my heart hurts not for a man but for my family. Jesus gave me my children so that I wouldn't be along in the world temporarily, meaning that they belong to him. everything is so complicated, I tell Jesus all the time that i'm not happy. He wants me to spend this time to get to know him. I really haven't yet, I pray and read the bible sometimes but I still don't feel like I know him like I should. I feel that there is so much more, that he wants me to know. and I want only to please him. so I feel stuck either way I try to move I run into a wall and i'm stuck there for a few days like being in a maze I can hardly find my way out. I also feel that I don't try hard enough. I have so much confusion in my head sometimes I don't know if i'm going or coming. sometime I forget what I even read in my Bible and a few days later i'll remember what I read. although I haven't read my Bible in awhile maybe a few things and a few things can't teach me about my heavenly father. I love him and fear him. it seems as if I don't feel that i'm honoring him, because I miss my family meaning my children. I wish that he wouldn't feel upset at his servant but he is a jealous God. I know that my children will never know how much I love and miss them. I have family but no one seem to notice that i'm even alive. not just my children all my relatives. My sister, my brother and three of my children. I have 4 but one does respect and treat me like her mother. I love them all from the depts. of my heart. I try to communicate threw facebook I even show up to some of their get togethers. it always seem so fake each and everytime, i'm around them. I always have a smile on my face especially now because if not they than think that I have an attitude in which none of that really matter's to me. what matter's to me is Jesus and spending me some me time with him. I KNOW that he loves me, I also know that he is here for me. I want u to pray that my children come back into my life a lot sooner than what i'm thinking. I don't want for them to come back to me fake I have to know if they are being fake or real. I don't want to get my hopes up. I do believe one day my Heavenly Father will fix this rift between us. I just need prayer for these problems. I can't just blame anyone my problem I just have to get stronger so that I can fight my own demons because i'm not perfect either and I don't even like myself either.
AMEN, THANK U BEVERLY!!