i am at a loss for words and even tears...i've been wanting to cry it out but couldn't seem to. i dunno why.but i do know that i feel bad about the turn of events. it's a long way to go. but perhaps it's the knowing that it's going to really work out for them and why wouldn't it...once again, i missed my chance but it's more like i wasn't given a chance.

i am certain about my feelings towards him. and now it's the dealing with it that slowly kills me. i have started to let go. but couldn't help but feel sad that we didn't even have much time to really get to know each other. but my head is saying, it shouldn't even be a problem. it happens.and it happened to me.

im praying for strength.i know i have been granted some, but this is a new challenge indeed. i am proud of myself for dealing with this with my head held high. but i dread an impending breakdown. I hope and pray it doesn't happen. please.

but above all these i know something greater is about to come...i hope i don't lose the will to wait. i pray for patience and perseverance.please help me pray for it. it would be the best gift ever.